I know that you think you love Veronica and you think you are entitled to be her parents. You probably even think she loves you too and remembers you from the short time she was with you from infancy.
But as an adopted person, I want to implore you, to please, just take a moment, and listen to what I have to say.
This entire case has become such a circus. From those of us watching on the sidelines, and I admit nobody really knows the intimate details as you and the Browns, but honestly, do you really think that taking a little girl from a family who loves and wants her is going to turn out well for anyone? Just try, try for HER sake, to put yourselves in her shoes. For one moment, close your eyes, imagine that you are your 4 year old selves, and you are in your home with your loving parents, you are happy and safe and loved, and somebody is threatening to take you away from that. How would you feel? How would that make YOU feel? Would you want to leave your parents, your family, to go live with someone you may or may not have strong memories of, at that tender age?
I am speaking as an adoptee here, and I want to tell you, that being an adoptee is hard. It is no fun growing up in a family that is not your own. You yearn daily for that biological connection – to look like someone, to act like someone, and you really do wonder, daily, why you were given away. In Veronica’s case it will be in her face daily because she will never, ever be able to escape the stories and the news media. She will know what happened to her, and she will know that you willfully took her from a father and a family who loved her and wanted her. How do you suppose that will make her feel? How do you think she will really, honestly feel about that? Have you thought about that at all through any of this? Have you?
I can tell you how she will feel. She won’t thank you, she won’t be grateful, she won’t love you for it. She will hate you, she will resent you every moment of her life until she is old enough to leave your home and never look back.
If I were her? If you were my parents and I knew that you and done this in order to adopt me? I would be gone the moment I could get away.
What do you think she will will think of the documentary you are allowing Troy Dunn to make of all of this? What do you think she will think of the media circus being filmed around what will be the most painful parts of her young life? How will you explain to her that you purposefully invited this man into your lives, and by extension, hers, to expose to the world what you feel is your daughter as she goes through the most vulnerable and painful transition of leaving behind a father, grandparents, and sister whom she does love, and has to see them being maligned and slandered and even threatened with jail? Sure, your supporters may love this grandstanding, but how about Veronica? After all, these are her family, and she loves them. You hurt them, you hurt her. I hope you realize that. And all this media circus you are creating will live on, on the internet, for a very, very long time. She will know what you did.
I just hope you realize that in your quest to gain a child you are going to drive that child away. You need to step back and look at the whole picture. Put yourselves in her little pink shoes. Set aside your own desires and needs for once and think of what’s right for her. Be a real parent, and do what’s right for Veronica. No child should be adopted if it’s not absolutely necessary, and in her case, it’s absolutely not necessary. She loves her dad, she loves her family, so leave her where she is. Find peace with that and know that she’s happy, and be content with it. A true parent would want what’s best for their child – and this IS what’s best for her.